When the babysitter calls

We are really lucky. In the last few months life has gotten a bit easier. Asher and Abby Kate are rocking school and Amelia’s ABA therapy has really started making a difference in how she interacts with the world around her. If you take out me breaking my leg, life would have been pretty amazing and even with the broken leg it has still been so much better than life was this time last year.

One big change happened when we started receiving respite care. 40 hours a month of babysitting thanks to the US Navy almost makes up for the premature wrinkles and gray hairs the same Navy has given me over the last 9 years. Enter K, our amazing respite provider. I knew when I talked to her on the phone the first time that it was going to be a fit and my kids freaking adore her. I thought I would feel guilty leaving them to go do my own thing, but they’re more excited than I am to have K time, which makes dates even more enjoyable.  

Today was my first day using respite time to do my own thing instead of going out on a date. Husband is on duty which means he works overnight so I thought it would be a good time to have some me time and do some studying.

There is no fear quite like when the phone rings and it’s the babysitter. We text back and forth most of the time, this was actually the first time she ever called me when I was away from the house. My heart was racing.

“Don’t panic, everything is okay”

K is a mom, she knows I was panicking from the moment her name popped up on the phone.

“What happened?” because I knew she wouldn’t call if it wasn’t a big deal.

“Amelia figured out the locks on the door. I was sitting at the table playing with Asher and Abby Kate and she went and very quietly got a toy to stand on and unlocked all the locks. She was so quiet but Winnie started freaking out so I got up and she was on the front porch getting the package that had been delivered. Winnie was right with her and barking for me.”

She had only gotten up from the table a minute before.

I couldn’t help it, even knowing it was all okay, I started crying.

What if Winnie hadn’t been with her? What if she didn’t just want to get the package? What if K wasn’t so on top of it and didn’t get up right away?

What if…. What if….

I thought 3 locks were enough. I thought it was high enough for her not to reach it standing on anything less than a chair (which I would notice if she was dragging through the house). She’s never been too interested in elopement, so I thought we were safe. The only time before today she’s wanted to go outside was when Daddy was out there and she wanted Daddy. Now? Now I “What if”. I also went and bought a child lock for the handle and one of those magnet alarms that screams when the door/window/whatever is opened. It’s even got a 4 digit code so she can’t mess with it without it going off.

I know that all parents “What if” but I never have done it with my two neurotypical kids the way I have since I had my little neurodiverse girl. I “What if” everything I do, because deep down I “What if” if God knew what He was doing when He gave her to me.

At least tonight I know the answer to “What if she manages to get through the child lock on the knob and all three of the other locks?” is that there will be 120 decibels to let me know… and a dog named Winnie. 

Adventures in Bedtime

Bedtime. My kids aren’t bad sleepers by any stretch, but sometimes bedtime is just too much. I’ll be real, by the time 9:30 rolls around, I’m done being mom for the day. I want to sit down and mindlessly scroll Pinterest or watch grown up television. I am done.

Last night I was especially done because Sherlock was on. **Side note: If you haven’t watched the BBC version of Sherlock featuring Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman then you are missing out big time. Stop reading and go binge watch it and come back.** It has been a long time since I had new Sherlock to watch and darn it, I wanted to watch it without interruption (yeah right…). We got Amelia to bed and put Asher and Abby Kate down.

Start Sherlock.

2 minutes later… Abby Kate and Asher come strolling through… they forgot to get a drink of water.

5 minutes later… lots of talking and giggling coming from back that way, Daddy goes to tell them it is in fact bed time or as I think in my post Inside Out head, to put the foot down.

5 minutes later… Abby Kate just can’t sleep and needs night night oils.

3 minutes after that…. Asher needs night night oils too.

About 10 minutes of uninterrupted Sherlock. I think to myself they must be asleep.

Abby Kate comes to the doorway of the living room.

“I just wanted to tell you something that me and Asher were talking about. We were talking and we think you’re a big ball of love, Daddy is a farting spider, Asher is a big Earth planet, I’m a heart, and Amelia is a giant cupcake.”

…

“Daddy is what?”

“A farting spider.” (like I should have known this… duh)

I don’t even know what to do with this information.

"What?"

"Because he farts a lot. And he's a spider."

...

“You’re adorable, I love you, go to bed”

After the hysterical laughter was finished, me and my favorite farting spider finished our episode in peace.

Big Love

My husband Bryan and I have been married going on 12 years. When you’re only 30, that’s a pretty big accomplishment. Heck, at any age 12 years of marriage is a big deal in this day and age. And the best part is that I still really like him. To be honest, we’re one of those couples that you see that kind of makes you want to throw up in your mouth a little. I think some people might feel like it is a show for when we are around others or for good Facebook statuses, but we are lovey enough at home that Asher (who’s 7.5) gets all grossed out. (Which FYI, is the funniest thing in the whole world.) Other people have asked me how we make it work. My answer is this…

Earlier this week, I was really under the weather. My husband had to stay on his ship overnight the night before trash day so in the morning before he left the house, he took the trash can down to the curb for me. This is a little thing. I’m capable, even sick, of doing it. But the fact that he took the time to think of me and knew that I felt yuck and the last thing I’d want to do is drag the trash can down the driveway was big love.

I think people (women especially) expect flowers and jewelry and other grand gestures to show love. Yeah, those things are nice, but they’re not what keeps a big love burning, because you can’t do those things every day. It’s taking the trash out, it’s unloading the dishwasher, it’s fixing them their favorite meal just because, it’s bringing home a candy bar because you know they’re having a hard day, it’s making sure to have that beer they like, it’s kissing goodbye even if they’re just going around the corner for milk, it’s being goofy and laughing together, it’s debating theories on your favorite show, and it’s telling them you’re glad they’re yours. Little things that show the one you love that you’re thinking of them and that your happiness is important to you all day every day.

My marriage isn’t perfect, because we are both imperfect people, but our love… our love is pretty magical.

-Sarah

What's the one thing YOU would tell people makes for a happy marriage?